HOME TOUR

I think there are just seasons you walk through in marriage where you can choose to dive deep in vulnerability or retreat and I hate that I’m far more inclined to retreat–to build up the walls, sink in to myself and try to carry it all. Even with a steady faith that has always floated me through, I find seasons of suffering to be exhausting, almost relentless in their intensity. And that’s with a very real understanding that in the Christian faith, suffering is never for nothing. If you’re in a suffering season, I can’t recommend Tim Keller’s sermon series on Suffering enough. None of us is perfect. None of us has life figured out and accumulated hard experience can weigh on you without you noticing. After infertility, Cade’s birth defect and amputation surgery, losing my mom to breast cancer (the third straight generation on my maternal side to die of breast cancer), challenging family dynamics, I probably should have sought out therapy long ago. Because the curve ball comes out of left field disguised as something good, something you really want and you’re left trying to figure out what happened, unaware that all accumulated hard you’ve already walked through has worn you out.

My husband has been kind, present and faithful from day one. That hasn’t changed. But perhaps you can relate. We are 17 years in to our marriage, nearing forty, have three kids and a dog, a mortgage and accumulated stresses of living that have weighed heavier on him at times than I realized. And that can leave you both in a trickier marriage season. He took time off and said “I want to go away with you” because travel has always been our thing–our way of connecting, of figuring out the hard things in life, a steadying force in our lives. I told him to “go fly a kite” because I am angry and stubborn and already felt totally out of control. But he persisted. He is steadfast in his love for me and shows me the consistency in love like no one else. So I boarded the plane with him, finding out where we were going when security asked. He planned it himself, every detail with a few hiccups, which has never happened in the history of our marriage. I’m the international trip planner, the type A control person with a strong aesthetic in case you haven’t figured that one out.

I was told to pack for low 60s and rain and didn’t bring my camera because this was just for us and I had zero intention of posting anything about it. But going back to my post towards the end of summer, we do each other a disservice when we only see shiny and happy. I have not been shiny or happy. I’ve been confused, angry, frustrated, stubborn, selfish, sad and almost embarrassed, because that voice whispers to me how so many others could point at me and say “my seasons of suffering have been worse than yours.” But this trip was beautiful, hard yes because we hadn’t quite gotten in step, but necessary and important. We could actually talk, heatedly at times, kid-free and uninterrupted. So for nothing else, perhaps this can be encouraging to any one else in a harder marriage season. Be steadfast and dive in, get away with intentionality and be vulnerable. The act of loving anything always opens you up to hurt.

LE MANOIR AUX QUAT SAISONS

For four-ish days I got to pretend I was living in A Secret Garden. Another world of fairies, quaint hamlets, CS Lewis & J.R.R Tolkien, Pubs, Manor houses, and all the scones with clotted cream I could get my mits on. I’m not a coffee person. I’m a tea person and I felt like I was on friendly turf here. Matt selected the charming Le Manoir aux Quat Saisons, a Belmond Hotel famous for being started by Raymond Blanc and still under his talented hands in his two star Michelin restaurant in the manor house (which was delicious!). Our room had antique beams, a charming fireplace and a bath tub–all my favorite things. You could hear the rain beautifully in this room and there was a lot of rain, record-breaking rain apparently.

This hotel is not in the Cotswolds but Oxfordshire, close to Oxford. We drove to the Cotswolds amid flooding and an insane deluge of rain and still enjoyed ourselves immensely. England feels like it should just always be rainy. The hotel grounds were made for lingering and the vegetable garden alone is enviable.

With bits of fall color starting to pop everywhere, the end of September was a charming time to visit this neck of the woods.

BLENHEIM PALACE

Our first full day in England was the rainy day so we started it at Blenheim Palace. The record rainfall in the UK caused significant flooding throughout the countryside and the Palace was not immune. The formal gardens were closed because they were under several feet of water. We were very thankful the hotel had rain boots and umbrellas for us. This palace is where Winston Churchill was born. He is one of my favorite historical characters, I actually wrote my entry essay to college on him.

“Life is a whole, and good and ill must be accepted together. The journey has been enjoyable and well worth making–once.” -Winston Churchill

STOW-ON-THE-WOLD

After the Palace, we made our way very slowly to Stow-on-the-Wold. We grabbed tea and scones at Huffkins and walked around the little cobbled wet streets. We stumbled upon St. Edwards Church and the famous Tolkienesque-north door that is flanked by ancient yew trees. What a treat to see those with no one around in the pouring rain. It was almost magic.

Dinner at the charming Kingham Plough. The thatched roof cottages in this town had me quite smitten.

ARLINGTON ROW IN BIBURY

After a lingering breakfast, we drove to Bibury to walk through this charming village. Far from off the beaten trap, this can be the ultimate tourist trap in the Cotswolds given how famous is Arlington Row. Luckily, with the rain and still flooded roads, there were less people here than expected. We still had to circle the town once to find parking. It’s a charming walk though.

HIGH TEA AT LORDS OF THE MANOR HOTEL

This lovely spot in Upper Slaughter had a nice tea. I wish we could have been outside in the garden because the garden was spectacular. Make reservations in advance.

OUR LAST DAY

On our last day in England, Matt scheduled a massage for me in our room which was lovely and thoughtful. We had high tea at the hotel which was of course the best of the entire trip because it is just lovely in every way. We finished with an afternoon trip to Oxford to walk around.

OXFORD

Matt was in his element here. We toured sites in the university and then walked through finding all the Tolkien and C.S. Lewis sites we could. It was raining again so we ended the day at a sweet little Pub called The Lamb Inn. Prior to this trip, my experience with pub food was greasy and boring. But pub food in the Cotswolds is clever, delicious, interesting, artsy and farm-to-table. Not that we don’t love Michelin Star Restaurants, we just found the pub scene absolutely spectacular.

“We can ignore even pleasure. But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain