HOME TOUR

The chaos of early pregnancy, those frequent doctor’s appointments and ultrasounds…the fear and deep grieving for our little boy’s abnormality, made it impossible for me to dream the way normal parents dream…about names or nursery ideas. It all seemed so carefree and trivial, I was trying to just survive, to not be washed away with sadness, preoccupied simply wondering if my small baby was going to be okay.  At those early ultrasounds however, especially the 15 week one at Children’s Hospital, I was struck with how active my little babe was.  How strong he looked, flipping around, ping-ponging off every wall of his womb. He seemed like he was trying to tell me something, that he was a fighter, our little warrior. Ready to tackle the world, ready for the adventure of it all, desiring a chance at life. I honestly don’t remember doing it but I know I did, I know in a quiet moment and to myself I googled names that had “warrior” or “fighter” in them and Caedmon was the first to come up. It captured my heart and was almost as if our little boy named himself.

Caedmon is an Old English name that means ‘wise warrior’. The only time I had ever heard the name was via the Christian band, Caedmon’s Call. Which only sparked a treasure hunt of sorts–why on earth was a Christian band named Caedmon’s call? Apparently, thanks to some internet searching, Caedmon was a shy Anglo-Saxon cow-herder who lived during the 7th century. Legend has it that Caedmon was embarrassed to sing in public due to his belief that he lack musical talent, avoiding occasions where he had to sing. After leaving a feast one night, he lay down in the pasture to sleep. An angel appeared to him in a dream, calling him to sing. After refusing, he eventually decided to sing and when he did, he sang beautiful verses that had never been heard before, based on the story of creation and using the style of pre-Christian, Anglo-Saxon poetry. It is the oldest example of Old English Poetry in existence and a praise to our Lord.

 Now let me praise the keeper of Heaven’s kingdom,
 The might of the Creator, and his thought, 
 The work of the Father of glory, how each of wonders
 The Eternal Lord established in the beginning. 
 He first created for the sons of men
 Heaven as a roof, the holy Creator, 
 Then Middle-earth the keeper of mankind, 
 The Eternal Lord, afterwards made, 
 The earth for men, the Almighty Lord.

My husband took me to Cape Cod as a sweet distraction from all the pregnancy chaos after that week of appointments at Children’s Hospital.  I had already been calling the baby Caedmon or baby Cade in my heart. So on the way home and with some light-hearted jesting my husband asked, “so should we begin discussing names?” To which I replied, “I already named him.” My husband, mouth open, a bit blindsided sputtered, “well spill wife! What is my son going to be called?” So I told him and he loved it and that was that.

Caedmon James Kleker, our sweet little boy.

Picture image above by Melissa Robotti at Robotti and Rosa Photography