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We welcomed baby Asher Kai to our crazy wonderful life on November 17th at 4:42 pm weighing 6 lbs 14 oz. He’s been a surprise from day one so leave it to him to come almost a week early causing a scramble–laundry wasn’t done, the house wasn’t clean, childcare for Cade wasn’t in place and Nana was forced to jump on the nearest plane headed east.

Sweet baby Kai is a great surprise, has been even from the beginning, and he continues to kick all my expectations to the curb. Don’t ask me why at this point I still have them. If it were up to me these kiddos would have been spaced further apart, Kai would be a girl and would have politely abided by his due date. He was darn difficult to name to boot. This baby boy was always going to be Kai but we liked it as a middle name leaving us on the hunt for the first name for formality’s sake. For some reason we just couldn’t pin one down. We thought Beckham if he had crazy hair (he did, but that name was quickly kicked to the curb thanks to David Beckham being named “sexiest man alive” the day before he arrived). I liked Bennett but all Matt thought of was Tony Bennett. We both loved Landry and almost went with that but Asher couldn’t be beat on the name-meaning front. Asher, our “fortunate blessing”.

Labor began precisely at 5:40 am Tuesday morning. I know because I rolled over in bed and thought, “yep, of course.” I got up, showered, blow dried my hair between contractions because that’s what sane people do. Our dear dear friends took Cade for the night. Packing that little boy up, watching him walk out the door with a runny nose and “momma” on his lips just about did me in. Talk about feeling divided, watching one little boy need you while knowing another was just about to join the party.

I labored at home as long as I thought safe because I knew the minute we walked into those blessed doors they’d be poking me, sticking antibiotics in me because I happened to test positive for Strep B. I feel very strongly that antibiotics given to momma’s in labor are contributing to all kinds of issues little ones are facing, however I’m assured by research and doctors that a little one fighting Strep B is a horrible thing to endure and although your odds are low, we already had a 1% baby at home. So my theory was, labor at home AS LONG AS POSSIBLE = Less antibiotics. We got to the hospital around 2 pm and baby was born at 4:42 pm.

Everyone said, “just watch and see how much you love this little one.” But he came out and I just stared at him, waiting to instantly love him. But I didn’t. I don’t think this is me. Or how my heart loves. I’m not sure I’m a “love at first sight” person. I fiercely love my Cade. And I fiercely love my husband and family. But it’s taken years and memories and moments to make my heart “feel” what this love is described so freely as. I can feel it creeping in, sneaking up on me when I look at Kai’s goofy little hair-do (NO IDEA where that head of black hair came from), or his scrawny legs (this kid is SKINNY)…I can tell I’ll be there soon. But an instant love connection, not quite. I’m still trying to figure out how to get him to think 2 am is not time to go clubbing or time for epic 3 hour long nursing sessions. 

It turns out Cade had double ear infection. Poor sweet kiddo. Antibiotics had him feeling better quickly. We tried our darnedest to keep baby and Cade separate until all cold germs were accounted for and I think we were successful. Nothing like that stress on a new momma, being told by the Pediatrician that if my new baby came down with what Cade had, it would be a hospital admission, spinal tap and all kinds of tests. I’m not sure I could have handled that. So far the Lord has blessed baby Kai with health. That is an ongoing prayer. My sweet mom landed about 12 hours after baby Kai was born. Cade adores his nana and her help and patience and presence has been a blessing. She leaves tomorrow and I’m bracing myself for a Cade melt-down of the century. I might just join him this time around. There is just nothing that compares to your mom. If it wasn’t illegal I’d tie her up and refuse to let her go.

We’re all doing well and getting more and more tired. Hence the need to formally welcome Kai before we turn into zombies and forget how the internet works. Much love to you all this holiday season.